Your Relationships - Your Love Life

Your Love Life

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Remember that relationships don’t always look like they do in the movies or on TV, and they take work. Explore this section to learn more about relationships and decide what you do and don’t want.

Is My Relationship Good for Me?

We have all asked ourselves this at one time. Think about your boyfriend or girlfriend. You want things to be good with them, but sometimes it feels hard! It can be hard to know if a relationship is healthy, unhealthy, or even abusive, especially if you haven’t dated a lot.

Remember: healthy relationships require respect, trust, and open communication.

Watch This Great Video

Hear teens weigh in on what’s most important in relationships.

Signs of a Healthy Relationship	Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
You can express your opinion without fear or dread. You and your partner can make decisions together and fairly. Each person takes responsibility for their own actions. Your partner respects your feelings about sex. Your partner supports you and your choices—even when they disagree with you. You respect and encourage each other. You give each other space to study or hang out with friends or family. You are able to make your own decisions about spending your money without worrying about your partner’s reaction. You can discuss pregnancy and parenting decisions and your view is respected. For more information about healthy relationships, check out Iwannaknow.org.	You feel isolated from friends and family. Your partner tries to control how you spend time and who you hang out with. Your partner tries to control how you spend money. Your partner doesn’t support your decisions. You are sometimes forced to do something sexually that you’re not comfortable with. Your partner threatens, insults, or humiliates you. Your partner hurts you physically or emotionally. Your partner doesn’t keep your secrets safe. Your partner undermines your decisions about pregnancy and parenting. Does your relationship need a check up?

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

You can express your opinion without fear or dread.
You and your partner can make decisions together and fairly.
Each person takes responsibility for their own actions.
Your partner respects your feelings about sex.
Your partner supports you and your choices—even when they disagree with you.
You respect and encourage each other.
You give each other space to study or hang out with friends or family.
You are able to make your own decisions about spending your money without worrying about your partner’s reaction.
You can discuss pregnancy and parenting decisions and your view is respected.
For more information about healthy relationships, check out Iwannaknow.org.

You feel isolated from friends and family.
Your partner tries to control how you spend time and who you hang out with.
Your partner tries to control how you spend money.
Your partner doesn’t support your decisions.
You are sometimes forced to do something sexually that you’re not comfortable with.
Your partner threatens, insults, or humiliates you.
Your partner hurts you physically or emotionally.
Your partner doesn’t keep your secrets safe.
Your partner undermines your decisions about pregnancy and parenting.
Does your relationship need a check up?

Are You Able to Choose, or Is Someone Choosing for You?

How do you have the relationship of your dreams? Sometimes when you meet someone you really like, you want to jump into getting serious right away! Like NOW! Everything is so exciting and feels so good, why not?

When you’re falling for someone, for the first couple of months there are all sorts of “love chemicals” swimming around in your brain that make you feel great. But here is the problem: those chemicals actually cloud your view of the person you’re so excited about. There is a reason that “Love is blind” is such a popular phrase.

This could be the start of a great relationship. Or you might find out this person isn’t right for you or even has serious problems. At first you might not see that someone is really moody, cheats, tries to control people, or just that you don’t actually have many common interests. So focus on getting to know someone before things get too serious and you feel stuck in a bad relationship. If something doesn’t feel right to you or makes you wonder, don’t ignore it.

When you’re looking for a relationship, what qualities are “must haves” for you, and what are qualities that are not okay in a partner?
Here are some ideas to get you started.

How Can I Create a Fun and Healthy Relationship?

Pregnancy and having a baby are major life changes that can strain even the strongest of relationships. But no one is born knowing how to be the perfect partner. Relationships, good and bad, can be hard, and we can all use help making our relationships stronger. Below are some skills that are important to a healthy relationship.

Communication: Being able to talk about your desires and concerns with your partner should deepen your intimacy and trust. It’s really one of the most important relationship skills you can work on. If you’re going to pick just one, pick this one!
Conflict Resolution: People argue even in the best relationships, so learn how to resolve your conflicts together in a safe and respectful way.
Sexual Decision Making: You are allowed, and should be supported, to make choices about the things that you do with your body. Feeling good about the choices you make around sex is important.
Breaking Up: The reality is you probably won’t date the same person your whole life. Sometimes ending a relationship is the best move you can make. Breaking up safely and respectfully takes skill and support from people you trust. Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Remember, life doesn’t have to just happen to you. If you’re in a healthy relationship, you can decide the way it goes.

A sign of a healthy relationship is feeling confident that your ideas and choices will be respected. If that is not happening for you, check out Is It Love?

Learn More

Here are some great online quizzes and games to help you learn more about yourself and your relationship:

A great place to find out information about relationships for teens by teens is Sexetc.org.

Planned Parenthood and Scarleteen also have great information to help you figure out if you are in a healthy relationship.